Pastor Pat Edwards 7/9/2006
Grace Baptist Church in Bountiful, Utah

How do you feel about labels. I imagine whatever feeling is going through you right now reflects the way you’re defining the term. If you’re thinking of the kinds of labels that categorize and stereotype people your reaction is probably negative. If you’re thinking about clothing and other merchandise labels your feelings may be going either way. You may be proud of the Mercedes Benz label on your car or you may be in the other camp and looking down your nose at those people who need to flaunt the labels on the products they buy. You may like the label evangelical but hate the label fundamentalist. And then of course there was the great Gerber’s labeling error. When they entered the African market they decided to keep the same label on their baby food that they use in the US, that chubby-cheeked, little baby. But they hadn’t done their homework and the baby food failed to sell. That’s because many Africans don’t read so companies put labels on their products that show what’s inside. Baby meat isn’t very appealing.

But we like labels when they give us handles on things. In history we talk about the Colonial or Victorian era. There is the Industrial Age and the Atomic Age and now we’re told we’re in the Communication or Information Age. Heavy industry has moved overseas as Americans have moved into the era of information management. Computers, satellites, the internet have all contributed to America’s move to managing the business of information. And like everything that humanity gets involved with it has its upside and its downside.

The upside is all the knowledge that is often instantly available to meet people’s needs whether it’s social, financial, medical - the list is endless. The downside is that all this information plays right into our greatest struggle and the evil one’s effort to rob us of fellowship and joy. He knows we like garbage. We’re really worse than our dogs. Of course the garbage isn’t the physical remains from our plates or other areas where trash accumulates; it’s the "dirt" we whisper and listen to about other people. Of course many don’t whisper, they shout it from the rooftops. I know on network TV there must be at least a dozen garbage shows that sweetly or not so sweetly trash various well-known people. Most of the magazines at the check-out line qualify as trash because they live on rumors and gossip and innuendo. And too many of us gobble it up. If you put enough ketchup on it you can eat anything.

And that brings us to the final sermon in this mini-series on how I changed or what I’ve learned as I’ve grown in Christ. Today I want to share that I’ve learned I can’t say too much about the need to control the tongue. We can’t be reminded enough about the problems our speech creates again and again and again. The number one problem most of us have is we talk too much and we talk about the wrong things. That’s the point James makes in the verses read earlier.

3.2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check...
6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man,
8 but noman can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

If we can get a handle on this particular issue our whole life is going to experience dramatic improvement. James tells us the person who learns to control their tongue can learn to control every other part of their life as well. But it’s tough to do because the tongue most easily reflects what is in my heart and mind. It’s a very short trip from my brain to my mouth and if I’m not vigilant that downhill slide happens before I know it and something is said I may regret not just for a long time but for a lifetime. The problem doesn’t begin with my tongue, it begins in my spirit. Tongue problems are evidence that my life with Jesus is faltering, that I’m not spending enough time with him and letting the Holy Spirit bring change. Most of us have people in our lives that cause us to change our words and topics. Out of love and respect for them we consciously alter how and what we communicate. If we’ll remember we’re always in the presence of Jesus it will do a great deal to help us in this communication age.

Another aid to tongue control can be found in Proverbs’ common sense approach to human speech which reveals the impact and consequence of inappropriate words. One of the first things I noticed in Proverbs is that we talk too much.

10.19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.
12.23 A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly.
13.3 He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.
17.28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

Are those observations true in your life? Do you find you’re talking away and before you know it something has been said you wish you could take back? Or that you’re talking away and discover no one’s listening, your words have overstayed their welcome?

The next problem is the content of our conversations.

11.9 With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape.
11.12 A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.
11.13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
16.28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.
26.20 Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.

Recently there have been several times when I’ve heard about "friends" sharing what other people are saying. They’re trying to help Marge or Phil by letting her or him know what others are saying about them. "It doesn’t matter how much it might hurt Marge or Phil," the justification goes, "they need to know what’s being said." While there are rare exceptions the old adage that if you can’t say something nice about a person don’t say anything at all is still true. The next problem is we don’t stop to think about what we’re saying or the impact our words have.

12.18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
18.2 A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.
18.6 A fool’s lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating.
26.22 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.

So our problems are we talk too much; we talk about the wrong things and we don’t think before we talk. If that’s the case and it probably is since God says it is, what are the guidelines for speaking? Here are God’s words of wisdom on how to speak given in the order that they appear in proverbs.

10.32 The lips of the righteous know what is fitting, but the mouth of the wicked only what is perverse.
15.1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
15.4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
16.24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
17.27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.
18.13 He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame.
20.19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.
21.23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.
25.11 A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
15 Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
26.18 Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows 19is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, "I was only joking!"
29.20 Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

So let’s quickly summarize how the wise and righteous person speaks. She knows what is fitting for the situation and that a gentle answer calms people down and diminishes anger. Pleasant words are sweet to the soul and bring healing to people and relationships. The wise man uses words with restraint and doesn’t let his temper show. He listens carefully before he answers. He honors the trust placed in him by others and wisely avoids people who do talk too much. The wise woman guards her mouth because she knows her tongue can lead to calamity. On the other hand the right word at the proper time is a beautiful thing. The wise one also knows the power of words and that a gentle tongue often breaks the hardest head. And words are never spoken hastily or thoughtlessly and then excused or justified by, "I was only joking."

Now I don’t know about you but the truth in that summary paragraph convicts me. I’ve seen my angry words fan the flames but when I’ve spoken gently the fire goes out. And the right words spoken sincerely at the right time have brought peace and forgiveness. When I’ve restrained my initial impulse and controlled my temper good things have happened. Occasionally people will come up to me and say, "I heard about so and so." And I’ll think to myself why did you hear that? Who told you and what’s the point of sharing what happened? Nothing good comes from a bunch of people knowing this story so why are people repeating it? I know I would hate to think that everything I say and do is constantly discussed.

I hope none of us will walk out of here today the confirmed fool of Proverbs unwilling to hear and apply the words of God to our speech. After all, some might think, this is the Information Age and we live in an economy that is more and more based on communication. The publishers of trash magazines and the producers of garbage TV would certainly argue in favor of the words they speak and print. They would find every reason in the book to justify what they do and ultimately they become the fools Proverbs warns about. I pray the Holy Spirit pricked our consciences today. The wise person will hear and obey. They will accept the forgiveness of Jesus for their past failings and receive his grace to do it right in the future. And in doing so they will show their love for Jesus and bring honor and glory to him.